After being dumped by the same guy over the last two years, my heart hurts more and more! Not to mention this is the third time!
He was my first love and I wanted him to be my only love! The last time he came back to me, I told him that this would be his very last chance! I feel like such a fool! All I ever did was give and give and give! All I ever did was love and love and love. And all I ever get in return is a broken heart!
I have been through so much with him.....
I stood by his side and saw the best in him even when my heart was broken the first two times! I was there when he needed financial help, and I was there when he needed someone to cry to when he needed me. These past two years I have never let anyone speak badly about him! No matter how much I was hurting and sad, I did not appreciate any bad thing being said about him, because I knew him better than they did....I always found the good in him and I always tried bringing out the best in him!
Do I deserve this? No!!
Do I deserve better? Yes!!
Do I still love him? Absolutely!
Does he deserve me? Most definitely not!!
But I just sit here and ask myself repeatedly, How can the man that you have loved deeply and unconditionally turn around and just end things with you and not even care??
The only answer I can think of is this: He's not a man! He's still a boy! A real man wouldn't play such childish games! He would love his girlfriend back the same way she has shown love to him!
My heart hurts so bad.....it's the same wound that gets cut open every time, except it goes deeper and deeper and the pain gets worse! It's excruciating! It physically hurts.....
The thought of loving another man later in life, just kills me at the thought of it. And the thought of being loved by a man the way that I should be, doesn't even seem possible....
I know that he thinks the grass will be greener on the other side, but he should have learned by now, that it's not!!
I'm so thankful that his family is so supportive of me....I know that no matter what they are here for me and love me! It makes things harder with the fact that I don't even have family of my own here! It really makes moving forward harder. I don't even know where to begin with moving on. I honestly don't! I don't even know where to find my happiness.....I just feel so lost.....I almost just so badly want to move away from this area.....get a fresh start...but I know that I can't run away from my problems! I know that I have to be strong, even though I have always had to be strong. I'm tired of being strong.....I really am....
I could honestly use all of the prayers that I can get.....I appreciate them all so much! I know that I will eventually find the old happy Elizabeth! But until then.....My world just feels like it can't be put back together!
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